Doulas Support the Partner Too!
You may be surprised to learn that a doula does not only support the birthing person, but their partner as well!
Having a doula can free a partner of their responsibility to both facilitate the birth and coach the birthing person. This allows them to be present with their own feelings of excitement, joy, or nervousness that are an intrinsic part of becoming a parent.
Sharing words of encouragement, being a strong and steady comfort, back rubs and simply witnessing this profound event are priceless contributions that a birthing person’s partner can contribute. However, it is hard seeing the person you love in pain. A doula can help your birth partner remember the ways they can participate and be productive in their role as a supporter.
A birthing person needs continuous support. Birthing is intense and takes focused energy. Even partners that want to be the main supporter need to eat, drink and go to the bathroom. Sometimes they even need to sleep or check-in with anxious family and friends. Having a doula allows a partner to take a break when needed. If a partner doesn’t want to leave the birthing person’s side the doula can bring them food and drink and relay messages as needed.
Although true birth emergencies are rare, sometimes they do happen. If for any reason the birthing person and the baby have to be separated, a doula can stay with the one the partner is not with and provide updates to help them stay connected as a family.
Birth has a wide range of normal. It challenges both the birthing person and their partner in new ways. A doula has a toolbox that training and experience have brought her. These tools can help reduce a birthing person’s pain, help them focus, and help them do the things that bring baby closer. Even with these tools, the intensity of birth forges an immense intimacy between partners. When birth is easier for the birthing person, it is easier for the partner as well.
